Юмористические стихи

We women like to talk.<br><br>We talk to the tune of around 20,000 words per day, if current science is to be believed. We talk to commune with our girlfriends, sisters and mothers, we talk to issue directives to our kids and families, we talk to share our feelings (ad nauseum, if you ask our husbands and partners), we talk at work, we talk at play, sometimes we even talk in our sleep.<br><br>Words are kind of our thing. We should be word experts. So why is it that...

Pictured on the cover, in his younger, more athletic years before he ventured into stand-up comedy and literally tried his hand at writing, Jon D. Webster is seen sporting the coveted green jacket awarded to all Masters Tournament winners. He was the youngest champion on record and per his request, the first in the tournament&apos;s history and quite possibly the last to celebrate his win with a Mickey Mouse balloon. As for the content of this book, here is a sneak preview. As Shang Tsung...

What if someone told you that they had come up with 10 alternatives to some of God&apos;s decisions that were more efficient, caused less harm, and in general, were more loving than the 10 decisions God had supposedly made? What if you were told that you could too? In this book, that topic is covered as the author provides entertaining analysis, satire, and criticism of a so-called perfect book while making fun of religion in a way that would make even the most fervent religious zealot laugh. ...

Toast on Toast is the must-have book for all budding actors – and non-actors too. In this part memoir, part &apos;how to act&apos; manual, Steven Toast draws on his vast and varied experiences, providing the reader with an invaluable insight into his journey from school plays to RADA, and from &apos;It&apos;s a Right Royal Knockout&apos; to the Colony Club. Along the way, he reveals the secrets of his success. He discloses how to brush up on and expand your technical and vocal skills, how to...

There are many ways civilisation could end, even with wise, benevolent leaders like Kim Jong-un, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin watching over us. Now, in this fun interactive story of global doom, YOU decide how humanity perishes. Will we be turned to grey goo by Elon Musk&apos;s nanobots? Driven collectively insane by Russia&apos;s most potent memes? Or smashed to atoms by someone sitting on the wrong button in North Korea? In this book, YOU will meet the leaders with the future of...

A personal message from the author: Lots of individuals in society today are feeble-minded. They don&apos;t know what the HELL is going on. Unfortunately many of these people are responsible for running THE COUNTRY. They don&apos;t know the difference between a PRECIOUS JEWEL and a piece of animal turd. Their ideas are MEANINGLESS, illustrated using RUBBISH imagery (often made by a computer). The stupid words they write are always in BAD FONTS. Yet still people HEED this nonsense. Maybe YOU...

In the last seven years, Simon&apos;s Cat has become a global phenomenon. Star of thirty-nine films, which have been watched over 600 million times, and winner of a dozen major industry awards, Simon&apos;s Cat has captured the hearts of a worldwide audience. In this brand new book we see Simon&apos;s Cat face any feline&apos;s most dreaded scenario – he&apos;s off to the vet. And he&apos;s not at all happy about it. Sharing its theme with the first ever full colour Simon&apos;s Cat feature...

What if there&apos;s a hidden dimension to Donald Trump; a sensitive, poetic side? Driven by this question, Rob Sears began combing Trump&apos;s words for signs of poetry. What he found was a revelation. By simply taking the 45th President of the United States&apos; tweets and transcripts, cutting them up and reordering them, Sears unearthed a trove of beautiful verse that was just waiting to be discovered. This groundbreaking collection gives readers a glimpse of Trump&apos;s innermost...

“By June, Philip’s view of English Bay, what’s left of it, will be utterly gone. It was always going to happen. For years now, it’s been getting harder and harder to see what’s out there. For years now, it’s been getting harder and harder to know what to do.” From one of Canada’s most beloved personalities comes this delightful collection set around Christmastime in Vancouver’s West End neighbourhood. The eight linked stories in Bill Richardson’s I Saw Three Ships take their direction from...

With more than 1200 questions, this new Would You Rather…? collection is antic, audacious, comic, comical, hilarious, humorous, hysterical, riotous, side-splitting, and uproarious and will provide hours of amusing, diverting, jocular, playful, waggish, whimsical, witty, gleeful, merry, and/or mirthful entertainment.

This giant compendium of Would You Rather…? questions carefully selected from the author&apos;s oeuvre along with selection of new questions created just for this volume stands as the authors&apos; masterwork. Sure to appeal both to Would You Rather…? scholars as well as the casual fan, Would You Rather…? Anthology is the stocking stuffer that will send holiday shoppers in search of a bigger stocking and recipients in search of weight training classes.What began as the musings of two recent...

There are hundreds of online companies that will do your homework for you &#150; at a price. But will they write ANY essay you request? Only the WORST of these horrible companies were employed in the composition of Mindsploitation. A GREAT DEAL of money was wasted ACROSS THE GLOBE to commission what may be the dumbest collection of ridiculous assignments in HUMAN HISTORY.What does it say about our society that we can buy a quick custom eulogy for our grandmother, or pay to have a love poem...

Humorous, startling, and shocking quotations from fierce and fiery women fill the pages of this sassy little book. Out of the Mouths of Babes continues the tradition started by author Autumn Stephens in her books Wild Women and Wild Words from Wild Women. There is no lack of confidence and sense of self in these women&apos;s sayings. More than 150 outrageously entertaining quotes present mostly well-known women in their outspoken glory. Organized into sections with titles like Gifted Gabbers,...

Nobody ever said being an adult was easy. But it&apos;s easier with The Little Book of Big Excuses, with hundreds of excuses for things you did, things you didn&apos;t do, things you did wrong, and things you never want to hear about again. First things first: «Fake Don&apos;t Flake.» In here are your excuses for being late for or not showing up to any number of places for any number of reasons–grandma&apos;s birthday party, work, home, weddings, dentists appointments. «Excusez-Moi, si&apos;l...

From princesses to prostitutes to movie stars and supermodels, plus a few radicals and racecar drivers, Loose Cannons showcases hundreds of female movers-and-shakers, including Oprah Winfrey, Maria Callas, Michelle Pfeifer, and Catherine the Great, at their chatty, catty, and deliciously subversive best.From the book:"I&apos;m the girl who lost her reputation and never missed it." -Mae West"What do you expect me to do? Sleep alone?" -Elizabeth Taylor

"Proscriptive how-to advice ranges over a wide number of subjects (e.g., sex, band photos, etc.) and can be seen both as skewering the cultural idolatry associated with rock and as genuine counsel. Verdict: Svenonius&apos;s sociopolitical analysis of rock and roll is intellectually interesting, as when he posits that the genre was &apos;brought about by the industrial revolution, the harnessing of electricity, and the miscegenation of various poor, exploited, and indentured cultures in the...

Funnybooks is the story of the most popular American comic books of the 1940s and 1950s, those published under the Dell label. For a time, «Dell Comics Are Good Comics» was more than a slogan—it was a simple statement of fact. Many of the stories written and drawn by people like Carl Barks (Donald Duck, Uncle Scrooge), John Stanley (Little Lulu), and Walt Kelly (Pogo) repay reading and rereading by educated adults even today, decades after they were published as disposable entertainment for...

Author is a rising star in Canadian television, and co-host of the new CBC television show The Goods For once avoids the tired angle of how to “solve the problem” of being single by attracting a mate (preferably a man) Doesn’t reject the idea of marriage and relationships, but presents single life as a viable option rather than a problem With a fresh, informed, and humorous voice, Andrea is everyone’s fun girlfriend who talks the real talk Author is a dream for media: extremely well connected,...

Mike McCardell’s instinct for finding the perfect story at just the right time has led him to a lifetime of great scoops and gripping tales as an author and Vancouver news icon. Years of chasing and reporting human-interest stories have honed his ability to see the deeper meaning behind the everyday, and to capture the universal and familiar in even the strangest and most outlandish events. With this open-hearted approach, McCardell has become a master of weaving stories that are uplifting,...

Come and walk the offbeat world of Mike Strobels popular column in the Toronto Sun. Meet the legendary panhandler Shaky Lady; the Weasel, who knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried; the secretive swinger Sexy Boots; the notorious Bicycle Bandit, who quit robbing banks, got a loan, and opened a bar; and Dr. Hook, the top doc whose professional fate rested on the cut of his jib. Youll also get a look at a fake orgasm champ, a practising witch turned beauty pageant queen, a boss cannonballer, and...

Once again we are blessed with yet another collection of Jim Foster’s ravings. His first book, I hate to complain, but … with its views on everything from bank mergers to the author’s 30-year love affair with Sophia Loren, is being hailed as a classic example – though of what no one is quite sure. Readers will be amazed at the depth of the author’s knowledge on just about any subject and his total inability to keep it to himself. What should you do if a comet falls on you at 1000 mph? What...